The language you use in your recruiting message is so critical.
You are trying to connect with teenage prospects. And that can be difficult. There are several steps to this communication and at any point, there could be something that creates a roadblock in what you would ideally like to happen. You want them to read, understand, and respond to your message. Making the language clear, focused, and conversational helps make these three steps happen.
But, there are two phrases I see many coaches use that hurt their chances of those three steps happening. Coach, if you are using these, please stop!
1) “Dear <prospect first name>,”
That little word “dear” to start your recruiting message can’t be a big deal, right? It is the professional and polite way to start a message. So why is it such a problem?
It does not create a conversational tone right from the get-go. Your messages should read almost exactly how you would speak to a recruit. When it doesn’t, it is not as inviting for them to want to engage with it.
16 and 17-year-old recruits have a great sense for when something is personal or just a mass mailing. And whether it was or not, using the word “dear” makes them think it was a general message you sent out to many recruits, and not just them specifically.
Perceiving communication as a mass mail message is one of the top reasons recruits lose interest in communicating with a coach. Skip “dear.” Just use their name, like how you would if you were talking to them face to face. It will increase the chances they actually read and respond to your message!
2) “Feel free to…”
Let’s just assume your recruit opened and read your message. Now what do you want them to do? Respond!
When the conditional statement of “feel free to give me a call” or “feel free to reply” is put at the end, it gives your recruits a reason not to respond.
What if they don’t feel like responding right now? Then you are telling them they don’t have to. And that is not what you want.
Be direct and clear with what you want them to do after they read your message. When you keep it vague and give them an opportunity to do nothing, they will probably take it!
Dan Christensen is a former college coach and sales professional who works with Tudor Collegiate Strategies to advise and direct coaches in smarter ways to communicate with their prospects. More than 400 individual coaching staffs around the country use our strategies to build better, more effective recruiting plans that get results. To find out how they’re doing it, click here or email email@example.com to schedule a time for us to explain how we can craft a specific plan for you and your program.