by Erika Brennan, National Recruiting Coordinator
The coaching world is extremely dynamic – one in which no two days are ever exactly alike. It’s probably what drew many of you in to coaching – the ability to impact young people for the better using your respective sports as the vehicle for change.
Pat yourself on the back, coach! You pour in to the young people that fill your roster on a daily basis (I’ll spot you the mandatory day off per week on your CARA logs). Indeed, it seems that a coach’s job is never done – never completely caught up.
Here’s the question though: As you continue to help shape the direction of the young lives on your teams, who is helping to shape you?
It is so easy to become consumed in helping others that we forget we need help too.
Who is pouring in to you, and your development both personally and professionally?
A mentor is sorely needed for us who choose to embrace this ever-evolving world of college athletics.
The tricky part is in finding the right one:
- One who strikes the perfect balance between guiding you and challenging you.
- One that knows when to push you past the limits you created in your mind, and one that knows when to metaphorically put their arm around you and tell you, “It’s going to be ok.”
- And most importantly – One that has walked a mile in your shoes but knows that there are many routes to the same destination.
Yes, these precious few mentors are not a dime a dozen, and unfortunately they don’t wear a stickered name tag that says, “Hello My Name is….And I’m The Perfect Mentor.”
There are, however, a few ways to get out there and find the mentorship that you desperately need.
LOOK AROUND: Consider your current network and mentally make a list of people you want to emulate. Perhaps it’s a peer who is wildly successful on the playing surface. Maybe it’s somebody in administration – if that is your long-term goal. It can even be somebody outside of college athletics. Remember, It’s easy to be successful; the challenge comes in doing so in the right ways. What’s important is to take in to account the personal values these people have – and chose wisely based on those values.
ASK: This is undoubtedly the hardest part. The trick is to understand that you can ask without using words. By building up a relationship over time, you can create a mentor for yourself without ever coming out and explicitly asking. A simple “I’d love to pick your brain later this week and get your thoughts on an issue I’m having,” is a wonderful place to start. From there, the mentorship can evolve organically.
FOSTER: Once you’ve gotten a few exchanges under your belt, and you feel that there is worth and vale in the relationship, don’t let it die on the vine. Most people in a position to mentor are busy – after all, it’s their success and hard work that drew you to them in the first place. In the early stages, you may need to fight for it to gain traction. Continue asking questions and seeking advice, sure, BUT also make sure you are prepared and able to offer commentary of value when probed. A mentor-mentee relationship is just that. It’s give and it’s take.
A strong mentor makes all the difference. It gives you a sounding board and creates an ally. It gives you permission to push past the barriers you created in your mind– and it allows you a safe place to both test and challenge new ideas. The byproducts of a mentorship are limitless – who knows, you may even come away with a dear friend.
Do you have a mentor? If not, what’s stopping you? If you do, what is the next evolution in the relationship – how can you begin to add value reciprocally?
**I’d love to hear from you on this or any other topic as it relates to the world of college coaching, email me at erika@dantudor.com, and let’s chat**