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Coaching Life ·

Athlete Excuse Tournament Bracket

by Mike Davenport, CoachingSportsToday.com

If you coach long enough you’ll hear some amazing excuses.

Excuses why an athlete:

  • Is Quitting
  • Didn’t perform well
  • Was late to practice
  • Did something wicked odd

… and for everything under the Sun.

Mike Hughes, my podcasting partner over at This Old Coach, and I recently compiled a list of some of our favorite athlete excuses.

Between our shared experiences of Olympic and national team leader roles, coaching college rowing, and coaching other sports we’ve heard some good ones.

What you’ll see are the best athlete excuses we’ve heard over our combined 80+ years of coaching.

Being mindful of the madness erupting in sports this March, I offer you our:

Athlete Excuse Tournament Bracket

03-20-16 - athlete excuse bracket

(click image to enlarge)

And for you folks that prefer lists, here are the excuses as such (#39 is the winner):

  1. There is mold in my car
  2. The Yankees lost
  3. My tutor feel asleep
  4. My hair is embarrassing
  5. My snake died
  6. It’s way too hot
  7. It’s cold out
  8. I don’t like the rain
  9. Birds. I’m afraid of birds
  10. My experiment caught fire
  11. You don’t like me
  12. A bat flew in our room last night
  13. My alarm didn’t go off
  14. I set my alarm for PM not AM
  15. We had 3 fire alarms last night
  16. My dad got arrested
  17. My parents had my car towed
  18. This sport is no fun
  19. The captains are idiots
  20. It’s too sunny out
  21. It’s too dark out
  22. There was a crack in my windshield
  23. I went to a concert
  24. This is so boring
  25. We never have a fun practice
  26. This sport costs too much
  27. My computer crashed
  28. I’m getting married (only 18!)
  29. You play favorites
  30. We always do the same thing
  31. Practice takes too long
  32. I don’t like winning
  33. A sod truck flipped over on the road
  34. I drank milk last night (lactose intolerant)
  35. There’s a Shuttle launch
  36. My grades are too low
  37. Facebook said practice was cancelled
  38. This team is cursed
  39. It’s Bruce Springsteen’s birthday
  40. I have a paper due
  41. I have to Xmas shop
  42. I’m enrolling in the Salvation Army
  43. Lab due for months, just getting to it
  44. My roommates friend was sick
  45. Going home because of family party
  46. He/she dumped me
  47. I got knocked out in boxing class
  48. I separated my shoulder in wrestling class
  49. I have to meet the President
  50. I’m escorting a Senator to dinner
  51. I have a make up test
  52. I have to usher tonight
  53. I have to pick my parents up at the airport
  54. I have to pick up my car at the mechanics
  55. My eyes are dilated from eye doctors
  56. I can’t miss church
  57. I’m too sunburned
  58. I have the hiccups and I can’t stop them
  59. I have mitosis (really had tendonitis)
  60. I was stabbed in fencing class
  61. Al Gore lost, I’m emotionally spent
  62. I don’t understand why we are doing this
  63. I’m moving
  64. I ate snails — I’m allergic

I’m sure you’ve heard of some beauties. If you’d like to share, pop ’em in the comment section below. I’ll add them to the list, and maybe they’ll make the tournament next year!